Pierre's Elliott Rants

If you watched on TSN tonight, you heard it. On and on about Elliott's rebound control.

You know what, Pierre, I'm almost certain Sens fans will take rebounds . . . since a rebound is the direct result of a SAVE.

But it gets better.

So he harps on it a bit in the first, then again in the second a few times, intimating that Elliott is a busher who needs to go back to the AHL. So, the guys in the video truck put together a short package of said rebounds and you know what?

2/3 of them were saves off of his shoulder. How, precisely, does one control a rebound from there? What a toolbox . . .

For those of us that actually watch every Sens game, we are very familiar with that shoulder: it's the one that never had any dandruff flakes on it when Le Swiss was "playing goal" for us.

Great job for the most part on the game, Sens, and how about those 2 scrambles that Elliott came away unscathed from . . . I could get used to that.

+ credit on Picard for finishing a couple hits tonight.

Hockey Fan "Credit"

Something occurred to me when Alfie and Smith each turned the puck over and Cheese did what he does best/worst. I don't get pissy with either of those guys. Why?

Credit.

Alfie might be the best example.

He can do no wrong. He has unlimited credit with me and should with every Sens fan.

Yes, he will make the occasional “WTF?” line-change and Subbie-doo/ waterbug turnover, but he has earned the right to both.

How?

Effort. Every. Game.

Finish almost every check despite his size.

In short, he gives a shit and plays like it.

Has always put the team 1st on the contractual end of things. (I shouldn't need to offer the 4 or 5 examples - but firing his agent after the Calder is a good one)

I will, therefore, include each players “credit” rating in the following summary of:

List Of Players in Order of Incompetence

Swiss Cheese/ Captain Panic
Credit Rating: Repo men dispatched to his residence to recoup losses
Well, it really starts here. The absolute worst FA signing in the Sens history. Luckily, it's not an important position.

Anything that could, by any stretch of the imagination, be considered an unexpected turn of play, will go in. Every. God-damned. Time.

1)Any turnover on our half of center ice will be potted over his shoulder or the stinky 5-hole
2)Any breakaway
3)Any scramble in the crease (For this reason, the 4-man net collapse (maybe 5 man if Giggles isn't on the ice floating around the blue line) seems to have been instituted – which has led to a few of goals off Sens sticks/skates of late – they shouldn't have to do this but if one WAS going to do it one would think that the use of HITTING would be a more effective method rather than the current method of pitchforking and/or 'stick checking': I'll take an interference/roughing call over this sickening bullshit)

Watching his confusion when the puck is behind the net is painful to watch. It might/can be comical if one can reach a completely zen state, though.

Can you really blame the group playing in front of him for mailing it in? I might do what many of them are doing, just showing up on time to get my cheque, rather than going the Alf/Fish/Verm/Phil/Volch/Smith route of Sisyphus-like perseverance (Kelly no longer belongs on this list IMO).

I have been telling anyone who would listen that Gerber needed to be gone far far away from the Sens after about the 7th goal of the aforementioned variety (which occurred within the first few weeks of him becoming a Sen)

Can anyone explain why they would keep him other than “Well, Murray signed him and we're paying him 3.7, therefore he must play.” If that is the logic, why isn't there a 91 in our line-up?

The only positive I can think of (and it's a stretch) is that was NOT the biggest reason the Sens were swept last year.

Kuba
Credit Rating: Credit discontinued
Laukkanen reincarnate

Maybe the 1st controversial player placement. To me, you're that big and that incompetent on the physical side of things (both giving, and scared of receiving) I have no use for you.

To those that will point to his assists – well – I have always maintained that a D logging that many minutes will get his points: Chara was no-one before he got here, now he's got the BOS C and the contract to go with it. The money NYR ponied up for Redden was a direct result of the position Kuba plays now. Friggin' Muckler – how appropriate is your name? Muck you!
I really don't care if you are considered an OFD ... your 1st responsibility is 'defense'. 3 things a good defencemen will always be doing:
1)Willing to take a hit to make a play
2)Be physical in your own end / never miss a chance to finish a check
3)Always take the man(hit) instead of the puck (half-assed poke checks)
So – he's 0/3.
See: Picard below.

Picard
Credit rating: Very Low
Seems like a baby-Kuba to me. Might still be young enough to teach him how to play the 'right' way, but I doubt it.

Giggles
Credit rating: Very low
Passion deficiency / One dimensional (more like 1/3 dimensional)

So much to say, it will take it's own post – expect to see “the Spezza Reclamation Project” soon.

EDIT 1/20/09: He sure has picked it up since Elliott came in. Gaining credit every game, just really wish he'd increase that defensive passion even further.

Roto Rat
Credit rating: Low
If you would have asked me after the games in Sweden, I would have had him higher. Since then, he hasn't done much. If he's out hitting (and he has an uncanny knack for the legal blindside), I'm happy. If he's out there yipping, turning down fights, or (heh) biting, I'm not happy. If we had a REAL enforcer, he'd have a place in the line-up. Without one, all he does is stir the opposition up to retaliate against our skill guys (yeah I know – to which guys might I be referring under that category?)

Schubert
Credit rating: as a defenseman: Low as a forward: Average
And the ratings should be dragged lower do to the piss 'n whine show about only wanting to play defense. The truly mind-boggling bit is this: everyone except him realizes he is next to useless as a defender. He's actually a worse defencemen now than he ever was. His forechecking as a forward is very impressive. Too bad that's not what he 'wants' to do I guess. At this point, I think he needs a change of scenery, because if he doesn't play on the wing, he is utterly uninspiring.

Kelly
Credit rating: Average
Last year, I would have said “high”, but his physical play has dropped off considerably since inking the new contract.

Bell
Credit rating: Average
A bit old to have much upside, but I haven't despised what I see. Needs to up his attention to finishing hits, and he has a decent sense of when to jump up, but I am most impressed when he ACTUALLY WRISTS IT ON NET when he needs to get it in there.

This, of course, is in stark contrast to previous years' Sens defense corps who were instructed to (apparently) always think power-of-shot 1st, and, if you hit something, make sure it's Alfie's ribs or the scansion 4 feet away from the net.

M.C. Ammond
Credit rating: Average
Just kind of ... meh. I think Vermette and him basically play the same role, but I would prefer to keep Vermy and free this slot up for a prospect. Keeping him is okay too: you know what you are going to get.

Dono
Credit rating: Above average
I'm not usually one for hanging on to 'veteran' (read: aging) 3rd and 4th liners, but Dono really wants to be in Ottawa for family reasons and he shows the heart/passion that I ask as a fan. Biggest asset is his board-work.

Heater
Credit rating: Slightly above average
The hired gun. Yeah, he is pretty much just a shot. A great shot – and you need that trigger-man, so we'll have to take the minimal defensive passion, the 'back-scratcher wind-up even-though-there-are-2-guys-molesting-him-waiting-for-Giggles-to-send-a-takeaway-their-way” and the requisite pouting when said pass doesn't come.

I could really really do without the other recurring iteration of his poutiness: the selfish, selfish, lazy, pouty, penalties.

While I am at it, is there anything we can do about the excessive phlegm / saliva show: someone smoke this guy on a reef to dry his mouth out, will ya?

Bowl-Helmet Jr. (Sorry mate, had to)
Credit rating: Above average
As long as he keeps improving, I'm happy. Unfortunately, sometimes I catch him skating like Giggles when he's in defensive coverage or going for a line change (oh oh coach- I'm trying but there's a thin layer of tar on the ice), and he should up the physical play a bit. Running out of room for 3rd and 4th liners.

Winnie
Credit rating: Above average
Pleasantly surprised. Like his board-work alot. As long as he doesn't take a note from the $8mill guys and slack off, I'm happy.

Auld
Credit Rating: Above Average
Yeah he's been weak lately – and apparently he's historically been a strong started weak finisher. No matter how you slice it – for the cap hit and our #1 goaltender (even though they seem to want Cheese for that /boggle) he's not the problem.

Knieler
Credit rating: Above Average
Not role-appropriate (I wonder what Dennis Vial is up to...)

Nice dust up with Thornton last night, but we need someone who people are afraid of. Is it Yabbers? If so, bring him up. If not, get a Boogard/Parros, whoever. Neil is nice to have as a secondary option, but it's not like anyone thinks “I better not hit Alfie or Neil will put me in the hospital – God forbid they might send me to the Monfort...” We need the opposition to think this way. They apparently used to when we had Chara - Grats wasn't as much of a threat from press box. To earn this back, you have to have the personnel and coaching direction/leeway to pull it off. All we have currently is Roto-rat to piss people off so they can take it out on everyone else.

Gator
Credit rating: High
The only one of the bunch to earn the credit on other teams, he is doing what he should be here. Again: the guys are going to make mistakes – and he has had his share this season – but he is not one of our problems.

Vermette
Credit rating: High
See Fish: he has always tried – and that's all I ask. Pkers always get the shit end of the stick.

Philly
Credit rating: Very high
I haven't seen him take a night off or rush a pass because a hit was coming. There are things he could do better, but he's got credit with me. He has always turned it up a notch in the playoffs. I hope he retires a Sen.

Volch
Credit rating: Very High
Although he doesn't seem to be the A-Train anymore (ideas why?), he still is what he is every night.
I hope he retires a Sen.

Fish
Credit rating: Infinite
God I hate it when the TV pre-game “I have watched all 5 sens games this broadcaster has carried” jackasses start bitching about Fish and Vermy's lack of scoring. It annoys me every time, even though I know it is coming.

I would take Alfie and + as many Fishers as the cap would allow and fill the rest with blue-chips before I got rid of him. He plays hockey the way it should be played. Period. Even if my all-Fish team lost 2-0 every game I would be a happy fan: I would be watching good Canadian-style hockey – I think that's all anyone that truly understands hockey demands of their home team. I hope he retires a Sen.

Captain Everything
Credit rating: Infinite

Man I am so happy he will retire here. I wanted Redden to retire a lifetime Sen but I am assuming money / Gerber / Media sent him away.

I just wish that he could have had a Cup here, because he deserves it. Completely. Forget the fans, it should have been for him (Alfie, that is).